They say there is a fine line between love and hate….but some people are exceptionally cruel, just because they can be….
(Based upon my own experience with the inadequacies of the Family Court System, this is a sarcastic look at how the system can be used in an abusive fashion against a victim. My hope is that speaking about my experience publically will help others see how the court system is misused so that changes can be made….I don’t know how to fix the situation for myself and I am at a loss about how to help my own family–the court system completely let me down.)
With almost 50% of all marriages today ending in divorce, even if you believe that your marriage is strong and that your spouse is faithful, you can’t afford to be naïve in thinking that your marriage will last forever with statistics like that…..you need the peace of mind that comes with preparation since divorce court isn’t about what is “fair”or “right” or “just”, it’s about who has the access to the knowledge, connections and money to win the fight.
First I’d suggest becoming a paralegal if you can.
Success will be even sweeter if you have the financial and emotional support of your potential divorce court victim while earning this degree!
Next you need to find yourself a good “financial advisor” so you can use their address to open bank accounts and lines of credit without your victim’s knowledge. You can set all kinds of devious plans in motion by having this alternate mailing address!
If you have children, make them unwitting participants in the relationship with your “advisor”…it will prove to be useful in the long run. Teach your children to lie to your victim when they are spending time with this “advisor”….. What’s a little corruption to the parent/child relationship when you have a court case to win, right? Winning at all costs is your first rule!
Now wait until the child’s 13th birthday, the age that the court will allow them input about where they want to live……
Next it’s very important to make sure that the other person is ALWAYS in a position of having to defend themselves….and let’s not forget that chaos is your best friend in these situations.
Now let’s put together a hypothetical example, shall we?
Let’s say you are an executive with an exciting career that includes a lot of travel (good cover for creating a double, perhaps even a triple, life without your victim’s knowledge).
Now purposely act erratically and aggressively at work (and at home) so you get fired, but make sure that you hide that little fact from your victim for long as possible to add to the shock and awe of what is to come next. Plus you’ve just created an awkward situation for your victim’s lawyer in the future when they have to decide between fighting for spousal support and giving the court copies of your bizarre employee evaluation that you received prior to termination!
Now create a chaotic situation that makes your victim feel threatened.
Use any tools necessary such as children, family pets, your “financial advisor”, camping equipment …whatever you can find at your disposal.
The goal is to try to get your victim to seek refuge and support from family/friends, hopefully outside of the family home. While they are dealing with being emotionally blindsided and distraught, you will have access to the residence yourself. Make sure you trash the place and take pictures so you can blame the victim—it will add to the chaos and the legal issues that you are compiling in your war against them (Plus fits into your bigger plan later).
The next morning, cut them off from the financial resources that you share, leaving them at their most vulnerable point and file for divorce so they are put immediately on the defensive with no resources to fight you with—big score for you!
Plus, what child will want to live with a parent who has no money when you can buy things like trips, concert tickets, new cell phones and a sporty set of wheels?!
Now the real fun begins.
Remember, you have all of the resources, that paralegal know-how so you can do some of the legal leg-work yourself without the necessity of those expensive attorneys for every move that you make, and the benefit of having a plan and the support required to carry it out, already in place.
Use everything you can to keep the chaos going—THAT is your mantra.
Now if your victim was stupid enough to leave the marital home because they felt threatened (instead of calling the cops and sitting there, waiting for them to come and still foolish enough to be worried about family embarrassment) good for you! You are well on your way to WINNING!
You know that your opponent is going to try to get a PFA against you because of your actions that set the ball in motion, so you file for one against them listing your “financial advisor” on the petition as a“family care giver” just for giggles & added confusion! (***See “PFA ‘s They’re Not Just for Victim’s Anymore”)
Thanks to the benefit of the competing PFA applications ( and those pictures), you will most likely get physical custody of any children after your lawyer argues that there is no good reason to remove the child from their school or the home.
Plus it makes your opponent look like a monster who would trash their child’s home.
It also helps that you’ve been grooming your child behind your victim’s back with the help of your “financial advisor” in preparation for this moment! You want to make sure that it’s YOU that they want to live with, not the victim!.
Give yourself a high-five as your victim tries to appeal these decisions (and seek other legal help) without any access to money.
It costs a fortune to file an appeal, in addition to fighting for custody, spousal support, a mental health evaluation for your erratically acting spouse—each is a separate issue needing to be addressed in a separate venue! Your victim can never even hope to address them all! (***See Major Bad Advice)
Laugh even harder as you play games as they try to get the financial support that they need to fight you. Move court dates, don’t hand in all of the paperwork….remember how you got yourself fired from your high-paying executive job—Ha! Ha! Ha!
Work WAY below your earning potential! Ha!
After all, why do you need to worry about money, you were smart enough to enlist the help of your “financial advisor” and you can do some of your own legal work, right?! Kudos for you!
Remember, it is imperative to keep the chaos going and the focus off of yourself (especially if you’ve been having an affair with your“financial advisor”—best to put off looking at that situation as long as possible!)
Now it’s time to start using any children as weapons.
Remember, your opponent has no access to resources and you’ve got the house that they’ve “abandoned”, so they have to rely on other people for everything.
Accuse everyone, from the people your opponent is staying with to the child’s grandparents, of abuse every time your child has contact your victim.
Make their lives, and everyone around them, a living hell until they no longer want to be involved any more….leave crazy messages everywhere you can it will drive your opponent nuts that they have them, but that the court doesn’t want to hear them because they are still stuck at phase one—trying to fight for the resources required to fight you! ….harass these “opponent helpers” to the point of being annoying, but not to the point where the authorities are likely to get involved (see how handy that legal knowledge is?)
Eventually, they will just stop helping. Ha! Ha!
If you “make enough crazy” you may even succeed in getting your victim’s first lawyer to drop them because they obviously don’t have enough money to fight you!
Remember that PFA you’ve obtained (hopefully your victim is so mortified by this entire situation that they want to just lay low and keep quite since they couldn’t afford to file for an appeal within the necessary time-frame, especially now that their lawyer has dropped them and they need to raise retainer funds to hire new representation), imagine the fun you can have doing crazy things like trying to run your victim over with your sporty new car when they try to have visitation with their child…all you have to do is say that they came after YOU. (This is an exceptionally sweet tactic if you do it immediately AFTER they seek help in court, without a layer because they can’t afford one, and the judge refuses to require a mental health evaluation for you. Ha! Who can they possibly turn to now for help or support? Oh, the games you can play from here on out with not a care in the world! ) **See “A Visit to Remember”
You’re the one with the PFA, who’s going to believe THEM!
By this point, your victim’s spirit will be so broken that they won’t even BOTHER to report the things you do because it will be a no win situation for them!
Have as much fun with this as possible! Accuse them of all kinds of things by leaving messages with the victim’s friends and family stating that the police are looking for them because they have robbed the house or tried to set it on fire…the possibilities are ENDLESS! ***See You Dropped a Bomb on Me
Sit back as the confusion unfolds as you trick your victim into contacting the authorities to see if they are looking for them – your distraught victim is bound to fall for that gag at least once or twice!
AND if they even attempt to explain these fun gags in court or to the authorities, they will end up looking like the crazy one!
Yep, they will, even if they have crazy recorded message that you’ve left & reams of paper full of your crazy emails and witnesses….no one wants to deal with it…not the police, not the court system…no one! It’s “JUST a domestic dispute” involving people who now live in two different counties….that’s what they say…..”call your lawyer” (But your victim really can’t afford to, can they?!–Ha!)
It doesn’t get much better than this! Believe me….
Looking to torment on those non-visitation days?
You can hide the child’s cell phone and buy them a new one with a different number that you never give to your opponent so you can accuse them of harassment when they call the house phone directly to try to reach their child! **See Call You On The Telephone
Once you’ve beaten your opponent down to the point where they can’t fight you anymore and the damage to the relationship with the child runs deep, remove the PFA (you didn’t really need it anyway, right?! And now having it isn’t serving any purpose….) and start telling people that your victim has willingly abandoned their child. **See Parental Alienation Log
Continue to try to sue your victim for support despite the fact that they are still lacking any stable living arrangements of their own while they are collecting unemployment as you live comfortably in one of the wealthiest areas in your state with your “financial advisor”!
OTHER FUN AND GAMES TO CONSIDER:
**Fight your opponent for the family pet enlisting the help of your child, then drop the elderly pet off at a kill shelter.
Prior to that event, amuse yourself by leaving crazy messages at the house where the dog is staying, such as this one left for the parents of one victim who took in this displaced family dog while they went to live with friends after their spouse had them evicted from the family home (when contacted, the Pennsylvania State Police, the animal warden and the XXXXXX Animal Hospital had no clue about what this man was talking about and the dog never bit anyone EVER in her life). **See Dogs are Weapon’s Too
**Did you have a bad day and the court FINALLY ordered you to provide your opponent with health insurance? Don’t sweat it! Your victim can’t afford to take you to court to actually enforce the order! Don’t bother! High-five yourself again! Have fun with this too! Send them blank paper with a note telling them to fill out their insurance forms. Laugh when the issue is brought up in court in the future and tell the judge that they never sent the insurance forms back to you for processing—it’s not exactly a lie! Ha!
**Remember that family home? You couldn’t let your victim be the one to get to live there, could you? Of course not! You could have ended up being responsible to maintain that mortgage indefinitely! The child would have lived with THEM while you moved in with your “advisor”–leaving you paying both spousal and child support! Ha! Smart taking steps to NOT let THAT happen! Now allow this marital asset to fall into foreclosure since you already have a better place to live in another county with a swankier address. This is a sweet deal:
@(Double points for you because one of the reasons the court gave you physical custody was because your opponent would have moved the child to a different county because of financial hardship while fighting you for assets….You aren’t supposed to remove a child from the county–so everyone (including your opponent’s lawyer) said, now you’ve thumbed your nose at the system, doing just that, secure in the knowledge that your victim completely lacks the resources to fight it!) ***See Timeline
@(Tripple points for you, if while this is happening you call and leave your opponent sobbing messages—that they still have saved—about how sorry you are about everything and how much you still want to share this home with them! Ha! ) See An Abuser’s Kind of Love
Think this kind of stuff doesn’t happen? Truth is often stranger than fiction! I could write an entire book about this topic with everything that I have experienced in and out of Family Court since January of 20XX (Several Years)!
If nothing else, please remember that sometimes it’s the mother who is being vilified that is actually being a good mom. It takes a lot of strength and insight to refuse to participate (at least as long as possible) in a situation where someone wants to use your child as a weapon against you….And sadly, sometimes you find yourself in a position that renders you completely powerless to do anything…..You just can’t beat someone who is good at Out-Smarting the System.